Republican Politician Jokes

You’ve probably seen a few of these jokes with lawyers as the target — well, Republican office-holders are usually lawyers, too, so they still work. Posted just for laughs — I’m sure you can find some good Republican pols somewhere these days — I can’t, but maybe you can.

Q: Why are Republican politicians buried in deeper graves than other people?
A: Because, deep down, they’re really nice people.

Q: What’s the difference between Republican politicians and vultures?
A: Vultures can’t take their wing-tips off.

Q: How do you greet a Republican politician with an IQ of 50?
A: “Hello, Governor.”

Q: What do Republican politicians use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: What’s the difference between a Republican politician and a boxing referee?
A: A boxing referee doesn’t get paid more for a longer fight.

Q: Why should Republican politicians always be buried face down?
A: If they wake up, they’ll start digging.

Q: What is the difference between a Republican politician and a leech?
A: A leech will stop when its victim is dead.

Q: What do Republican politicians and sperm have in common?
A: They’re both squirmy and slimy, and only one in 250 million ever accomplish anything worthwhile.

and…

Q: How many Republican politician jokes are there?
A: Really only three. The rest are documented case histories.

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