Don’t Right If U Can’t Rite Write

…ain’t it da troot. Read on:

“Social Networks” like Facebook are booming — especially Facebook. There’s only one problem with them: to communicate there, members pretty much have to write. How can that be a problem? After all, all of us learned to write in school, right? Well, no! And here are some real life examples.

Rachel: “I’m board.”
Jeff: “I’m chalk, we should get together.”
Rachel: “BOARD! Like I don’t have anything to do, not BORD, like a chalkbord. Learn to spellcheck.”
Jeff: “Oh god I hope you don’t breed.”

Abigale to Darcy: “You shouldn’t be aloud to talk.”
Darcy: “You shouldn’t be allowed to spell.”

Post: “Never leave facebook open. Sueing _______ for defaming my character.”
Reply: “You did not spell ‘suing’ correctly and you’re in law school so I think you just defamed your own character.”

Catrina: “Just found out the US is bombing Labia…THAT SUCKS!…I wish we didn’t have to fight so much.”
Steven: “They should leave female anatomy alone….”
Jenny: “Sweetie… We are Bombing Lybia…We would really be in trouble if we were bombing Labia. O_o OUCH”
Brooks: “I do my best to keep the peace with Labia…. Beautiful scenery there….”

Cory: “DONT LET YOUR EMOTIONS OVER POWER YOUR INTELIGENCE’S”
Alexa: “seriously?”
Cory: “ya why ?”
Alexa: “overpower* intelligence*”
Cory: “WUT? CUZ I DIDNT PUT SPACES . are u stupid”

Poster: “when is the point when you no that you cant fail worse?”
Reply: “When you realize you spelled ‘know’ incorrectly.”

Alyssa: “honer roll now with mostly a’s and 1 b hopping for princapals honer roll next time :-)”
Lee: “Just curious, does your school give spelling tests?”
Alyssa: “nope y?”

Post: “….thank you Massachusetts for making it impossible for me becoming a teacher. Stupid ass MTELs”
Reply: “‘For me becoming a teacher.’ I suspect Massachusetts has its reasons.”
Poster: “for anyone to become a teacher. the tests are rediculous.”
Reply: “Rediculous? You sure they are not greeniculous?”
Poster: “ha. =) its just a test that is suppose to test you on your reading and writing….but its over stupid topics like chocolate and mexican landmarks.”

Poster: “i didn’t get job at law office, sed i was week on copywrite law.”
Reply: “Maybe it had to do with your spelling? It’s ‘said,’ ‘weak’ and ‘copyright’.”
Poster: “FU! ur just as anile as they are!”

Poster: “Im happy. I aced my inglish test today!”
Reply: “You mean your ‘English’ test?”
Poster: “Inglish is good enuff for me.”
Reply: “Is English your first language?”
Poster: “First an last. Im gonna teach it.”
Reply: “God help us.”

Poster: “Glumm. Orel testes next weak & gotta nail em to pass.”
Reply: “Lucky for you it’s an oral test.”
Poster: “Wha?”
Reply: “Nevermind.”

Steve: “Spint da nite rapin and clubs talkin 2 mad fly hunnies n xchangin numbers w/ the gratest of the grate!”
Mason: “Hey, Steven, I know we haven’t spoken since high school and from what you posted it still seems you think you’re black…so I will phrase this so you will understand. ‘Spellcheck urself b4 u wreck urself.’ ”

Chris: “Broke up. Never thot dis wood happen, heinz site is 2020 tho
Jack: “Are you putting ketchup on logs again?”
Chris: “What?”
Jack” “Nevermind, mayo look for a new gf.”

Maddie: “It wuz a fabatabulus partee! Aww-somm! I sink about u all all the time! Howe can I spank u all for cummin?”
John: “Maddie, are you trying to be funny, or did you mean to write that post that way?”
Maddie: “Whutz u meen, jon?”
John: “Nothing. Just checking.”

From VSpotLounge, Jumbo Joke and various other sources.

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Why U.S. Health Care Costs Are So High

Read “U.S. Healthcare vs the Rest of the World” at BusinessPundit.com and weep, especially if you need health care in this country.

 Part One: http://www.businesspundit.com/us-healthcare-vs-the-rest-of-the-world/

Part Two: http://www.businesspundit.com/us-healthcare-vs-the-rest-of-the-world-part-2/

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We’re Number 1!

Wave that big foam finger around — we’re No. 1 in national debt at $14.3 trillion; No. 1 in oil usage at about 19 million barrels per day (with China a lame second at 8 million);  No. 1 in executive compensation, with US CEOs hauling in 343 times the amount paid to the average worker; No. 1 in the number of prisoners in jail at approximately 2 million compared to second-place China with only 1.5 mil; but, surprisingly, we’re only No. 4 in the number of murders by firearm — I think with a Tea Party President in 2012, we can improve in that category. (The previous stats were culled from NationMaster.com and SEIU.org.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

H/t to Suburban Guerrilla for the above chart.

But that’s not all we’re No. 1 in — how about military spending:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 …and lowering taxes on the wealthy:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…and here‘s what your tax dollar pays for:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(I think we’re also likely No. 1 in the number of dumb politicians, but I couldn’t find a chart for that.) So stick out your chest — look at all we have to fill us up with pride!

Posted in Christopublicans, Democrats, Economy, Global Politics, Politics, Republicans, Teabaggers, Wall Street, Wingnuts | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Unholy GOP Three and He Who Must Not Be Mentioned Except in Disdain

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The Tea Party Constitution

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2011 MarioPiperni.com

Posted in Cartoon, Christopublicans, Conservatives, Humor, Politics, Religion, Republicans, Teabaggers, Wingnuts | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Today’s Quote Two-Fer: Bill Hicks, Words and Video

Bill Hicks wasn’t a stand-up comic like Jerry Seinfeld, and he didn’t tell jokes; he used spike-in-the-eye satire to make his philosophical points, and he told the raw truth as he saw it, which didn’t make him popular in the American mass media. If he had lived (he died of cancer in 1994 at the age of 32), he would have been having a field day with the upside-down Bizarro World farce this country has become, and he’d no doubt be wildly popular on cable TV, the Internet and You Tube. Two hundred years from now, when the empty, glib comic-club ‘media safe’ comedians have all been forgotten, Bill will probably have some cockeyed religion named after him, which would entertain him to no end. (“Hickism — WTF?!? They couldn’t do better than that?! What — do they wear greasy overalls and smoke corncob pipes at the services?”) Hopefully, his future acolytes won’t twist his words to justify violence, greed and ignorance, as have the followers of other religions too obvious to mention. Here’s a quote, followed by a video of one of my favorite rants of Bill’s on advertising, and his final letter written just before he died. Genius is a word tossed around too freely these days to describe people who barely deserve to be called competent but, in Bill’s case, it’s thrown in the right direction.

“I had a vision of a way we could have no enemies ever again, if you’re interested in this. Anybody interested in hearing this?
“It’s kind of an interesting theory, and all we have to do is make one decisive act and we can rid the world of all our enemies at once.
“Here’s what we do. You know all that money we spend on nuclear weapons and defense every year?
“Trillions of dollars.
“Instead, if we spent that money feeding and clothing the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded … not one … we could as one race explore inner and outer space together in peace, forever.”
— Bill Hicks

“On February 7th, 1994, Bill wrote his last words to the world:

Continue reading

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Obama’s Secret Strategy to Win the South in 2012 Illustrated

Ha, ha.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2011 Winning at Everything.com.

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Star Wars X-Wing Fighter, Office Version

More Saturday fun. This Star Wars X-Wing fighter was made entirely of office supplies by someone whose name I don’t know. Seen at Instructables.com. (Thanks to Mark S. for the link.)

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Remote Controlled Flying Fish

Just some Saturday morning fun. What will they think of next? (Thanks to Mitch L. for emailing the video link.)

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GOP’s War on the Poor Will Backfire…

…says Jeff Madrick of the Roosevelt Institute. This could be true, if the news gets out that the ‘no tax increases’ party is fine with a payroll tax increase for workers earning under $106,000 a year. (If you make $50,000, you’ll pay an extra $1,000 a year; $100,000, an additional $2,000. But income from investments and the wealthy will not be touched.)

Most of the the party of the Comfortably Unafflicted signed a solemn pledge to dimwit fantasy-economist Grover Norquist and his ditzy Americans For Tax Reform group never to raise taxes, but it turns out there’s a giant loophole, as revealed by the Washington Post:

“…according to Mr. Norquist’s interpretation of the Americans for Tax Reform pledge, lawmakers have the technical leeway to bring in as much as $4 trillion in new tax revenue — the cost of extending President George W. Bush’s tax cuts for another decade — without being accused of breaking their promise. ‘Not continuing a tax cut is not technically a tax increase,’ Mr. Norquist told us. So it doesn’t violate the pledge? ‘We wouldn’t hold it that way,’ he said.”

Earth to Grover: if you’re paying more in payroll taxes, it’s a tax increase, no matter what way you ‘hold it.’ Oh, and Grover is very much for keeping Bush’s tax cuts for the rich, these days.

Already the country is shifting against the fringe-right excesses of the GOP; advocating this payroll tax increase could be the last hungry squirrel in the nutbag, so to speak.

Age of Greed” Author: The GOP’s War on the Poor Could Very Well Backfire

by Lauren Kelley
AlterNet
Aug. 25, 2011

On last night’s Countdown, Keith Olbermann had on Roosevelt Institute Senior Fellow and Age of Greed author Jeff Madrick to talk about the GOP’s ongoing war on poor Americans. As Madrick notes, Republicans are pushing to raise taxes on low- and middle- income citizens who can’t afford even their current taxes; although 46% of Americans are too poor to pay income taxes, they are still paying regressive Social Security taxes. As we know, Republicans have misrepresented that figure, telling voters that close to half of Americans don’t pay taxes — something Madrick calls “deliberate” and “an outright lie.”

The only potential good news here, as Madrick sees it, is that the GOP’s strategy may backfire when poor Republican voters realize they’re being screwed. Watch Olbermann and Madrick discuss that in more length right here…

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